Auror From the Past
by Maggie Granger
Summary: Dumbledore has requested that a witch from the past come out of hiding and join the Order. Her childhood friends from Hogwarts were told that she died fifteen years ago and have been under this impression ever since. How will their relationships fare?
1. Arrival

Auror from the Past

She shivered and instinctively put up her hood as she stepped off of the bus and watched as it sped away off into the night. The rain beating down on her cloak soaked right through it as well as the clothes she wore under it. Shivering once all the way down her spine to her feet, she began to walk cautiously down the slippery, rain-soaked road. She was desperately scanning the addresses of the houses as she walked passed them. As she passed eight, she felt the anticipation in her stomach begin to act up and she instantly became nervous. She slowed her pace and seriously contemplated turning around, but kept walking forward toward her destination. Then she stopped, right in the middle of two rather grungy looking houses.

Reaching beneath her cloak she retrieved a small white folded piece of paper, scanned it with her eyes, then pulled out her wand and with a swift flick the paper caught up in flames and burned to nothing. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and repeated what was written on the paper in her mind. Opening her eyes she saw the sight of a battered door directly in between the two houses, swiftly followed by filthy walls and grungy windows. The house expanded right into the muggle homes opposite, but the witch knew that those who lived there would take no notice to it's presence. She stared up at the house which was now clear to be number twelve, Grimmauld Place, the very house which inhabited the members of the Order of the Phoenix.

Again, breathing in deep, she attempted to banish the creeping anxiety which was over coming her as she stepped up to the door. She placed her hand on the serpent knocker, and gave two sharp knocks, followed by three soft ones. She then pulled out her wand and tapped the door once. There was a clear sound of metal that sounded like a chain was being moved. The door creaked as it opened. Quickly stepping inside the house she was greeted by total darkness and the smell of damp rotting mold. In the distance there was light of a fire. She walked down the long dingy hallway toward the room. Peering in unnoticed she saw the faces of people she once knew, once loved, and those who she had only heard stories of but was desperate to meet. She smiled at the abundance of fiery red hair. Seeing the familiar faces of the two men she had once been so close with banished any regret she had of coming here. Then she saw the boy which she knew at once was that of two of her closest friend. He looked just like the boy she had known as a child, yet he had the eyes of the woman who she had spent her entire youth with. A perfect combination of two people she cared dearly for.

As if he had sensed her intense gave, the boy stopped his conversation with one of the heads of red hair, and turned to look at her. He jumped back, startled to see her.

"Sirius," he said, turning to a shaggy looking man, and pointing in her direction "who is that there?"

Instinctively everyone in the room rose, some looked fearful, others curious. Sirius looked angry. He rushed over to the intruder as if he were going to attack. The witch, whose identity was hidden to the room due to her hood, backed away a few steps.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" Sirius boomed as he approached closer. "Don't think you're just going to break in here and then run away as if nothing happened." He'd reached her now, both of his hands with a firm grip on both of her arms.

"Sirius Black you get your hands off me." She yelled out in a loud, but soft voice with a hint of sarcasm. His expression changed from angry to shock as she gazed into his disbelieving eyes. She was still hidden by the darkness of the hall and her cloak, yet she could tell in his face he recognized her.

"Who are you?" Someone in the room asked.

Slowly removing her hood, she revealed a face which was familiar to some, but astonishing to all. Her bright, ivory skin seemed to radiate in contrast to her dingy surroundings. Her eyes were a pale shade of blue, but had an enchanting intense depth. Her dark brownish black hair was loosely tied in a braid which was swung around and sat on her left shoulder; rebel strands sticking out and falling around her face. It was clear that her physical facial features were those that could be deemed beautiful, but there was pain in her face that was unmistakable. Yet her smile was warm and genuine.

"Eleanor York." said the man with shaggy blonde hair, whose face showed an equal amount of pain as the woman whose name he just spoke. "She's an Auror-er-she used to be. I supposed Dumbledore has sent her to join the Order."

"I can't believe it's you." Sirius said, still staring at her in disbelief. "I mean I thought you'd-"

"I wouldn't be the one to talk." she said with a playful smirk, "I thought for more outrageous things about you and they turned out to be untrue."

"Yeah, but come on Ellie," he said in defense, "I mean you never thought I was dead."

"You of all people should know that you shouldn't believe everything you hear. Although there are some things, no matter how unbelievable, that you should believe." she glanced over Sirius' shoulder at Harry. "That's him isn't it?"

"Of course it's him. He looks just like James doesn't he? Acts like him too." Sirius said, beaming with pride for his godson.

"I noticed his eyes first." she said, as she walked over to him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and said, "Just like his mothers." There was a glint in her eye and Harry could tell that seeing him brought her immense joy, but also immense pain. It was the same look when Lupin, or Sirius had when they really looked at him for the first time.

"You knew my mother." Harry asked instinctively.

"Knew her?" Sirius said, as though it were an understatement. "They practically were one another."

"I apologize." she said, addressing the entire room. "I mean here I am, showing up out of no where with no warning, scaring some of you half to death by surprise, and still I offer you know explanation. As Remus said," she smiled when she said his name and glanced over to him, but he avoided eye contact, "my name is Eleanor York. Yet only my mother ever called me that. Elle is what I'm known as. Yes, I was an Auror, and yes, I knew your mother. I have come to join the Order of the Phoenix upon Dumbledore's request."

With this new information, the tension in the room eased and everyone settled back into the comfortable positions Elle had once observed them in. Only rather than each one going about their separate business, all of them gazed at her curious to know her story.

"But first, I'd like to get to know all of you." she said, looking at the dozen or so face staring back at her. "Or at least for now your names. I've been told all the red hair is a sign of the Wheezy family?"

"Weasley dear," replied the mother of all the red hair. "My name is Molly Weasley, and those two twins over there are Fred and George-er-George and Fred maybe, well just try one name, you'd got a fifty percent chance of being right. That little one over there is my daughter Ginny, and the boy sitting next to our Harry, is Ron."

"Yes, well said dear, and I'm Arthur Weasley." Mr. Weasley said when Elle's gaze met him.

"And you," she said, looking at the girl sitting with Harry and Ron, "you must be the brilliant Hermoine Granger."

Hermoine nodded and beamed at the thought of someone telling this fascinating woman that she was brilliant.

"Well then, that makes this a little more cozier doesn't it." she concluded.

"Please, mam," Harry began, "could you tell us how you knew my parents."

She smiled and looked around at all the eager faces of those she'd just met that stared back at her.

"Well Harry," she began, "my relation to your parents is somewhat the same as that of Sirius and Remus. We attended Hogwarts together, the lot of us, all in the same year, all in the same house. Like these two were best friends with your father, I was best friends with your mother. We met, like all students of Hogwarts on the first day during the Sorting ceremony. Naturally, both Lily and I were put in Gryffindor, although in the beginning, we didn't really get along. Lily she was," she smiled at the thought, "well she was kind of-lets just say she relied on my help to get her homework done. She thought she had better things to do. But when this one," she motioned to Sirius, "decided to call me Dorky Yorky, she stood up for me. I loosened up and realized there was more to Hogwarts than studying and she realized that there was more to Hogwarts than being social. I guess you could say we kind of mixed together and balanced each other out."

"Like I said," Sirius added, "they were inseparable, practically the same person."

"Then, as you can all predict, we got caught up the lot who dubbed themselves the Marauders. Long story short, after meeting those four, I had broken a great deal many more of the school rules that I ever planned to in that first year. We stayed friends right up until-" she paused, the pain that had momentarily been hidden by memories of joy returned to her face.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner Eleanor?" Lupin said from the corner. He hadn't been looking at her the entire time she had been telling her story, but his face looked more worn out now then usual.

"Remus I couldn't-" she pleaded as she rose from her chair, "Dumbledore thought it best that I just disappear. It was safer for everyone."

"For fifteen years?" Lupin said, rising from his chair. This was as angry as most people had ever seen him get, but Elle remained comfortable, as though she expected him to respond this way. "Even after everything was safe and he was gone."

"But he wasn't gone Remus," she said calmingly walking over to him, "It wasn't safe. I had to stay hidden."

"Well if you are so dangerous, why now? Why did you have to come back now?" He said, backing away a few steps from her.

"Because now we can do something about it. Now everyone is in danger. If I'm going to die, I'm going to die trying." They talked as though no one else were in the room.

"Lupin really, you must calm down." Sirius said, walking over to the pair, "There was nothing she could've done."

"Alright you lot." Mrs. Weasley said to the rest of the people in the room that were listening awestruck to see the ever-calm Lupin become passionately angry about this stranger. "Hussle up to bed."

"But Mum." pleaded Fred.

"We want to hear her story." said George

"Not another word." Said Mrs. Weasley. "I want you upstairs in your rooms. All of you."

Elle turned her head to watch them all leave as Sirius tried to calm down Lupin. She winked at Harry and mouthed the words 'we'll talk later' before he left the room. The three of them were left alone.

"It became a lot for me to handle," said Lupin, his voice returning to the calm nature that it usually was. "Finding out the truth about Sirius, that rat Pettigrew, and now you. I'm sorry, it came as a shock to see you."

"Remus," she said, gently touching his arm, "talk to me. You don't have to be dignified and hold back your emotions all the time. That little outburst is a fraction of the reaction I expected from you. There's no need to apologize."

"It's just," his expression softened as he looked though her with eyes that had aged beyond his years, "I'm glad you're back. I'm confident that you'll make a useful addition to the Order, and a pleasant addition to the house." He embraced her gently, yet it was clear the simple hug was full of harbored emotion. "I'm going to retire now. I supposed we'll have a lot to talk about in the morning." He turned and left the room and quietly left the house.

"That man," Elle said to Sirius, "you'd never know somewhere inside his lamb-like temperment, there's a hear of a wolf."

"It does me good to see you Ellie." Sirius said wholeheartedly.

"Fifteen years is a long time to live in hiding." she said to him, "I think we both understand the importance of seeing old friends after isolation. Tomorrow, we'll catch up. Tomorrow, I'll tell Harry everything I know."


	2. Explanation

She followed Sirius up a dark staircase passing many shriveled heads of house elves and portraits of warn looking witches and wizards who seemed to be comfortably sleeping. Fred and George had agreed to sleep in Harry and Ron's room upon the request of their mother, so Elle would be given that room for the night.

"Dumbledore mentioned to us that you and a few others who went missing might be joining us in a few months time to work for the Order," Sirius explain in a soft voice, "but I mean I never really believed I'd actually be seeing you again."

"Like I said before Black," she told him in an equally quiet voice, "you of all people should know that even when the whole world feels you're gone for good, it's not always so. You understand though, don't you? Why I couldn't come back until now?"

Sirius let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck as his gaze left hers and met with the ground. He seemed to be thinking hard about the answer he was going to give to the question that she has just asked.

"I know it must have been hard for you." He said finally, "I know that you wouldn't have stayed away from the people and life you love for so long if it wasn't truly necessary."

A wave of relief came over her knowing that at least one of her dear friends sympathized for her, believing her reason for absence. She smiled at him appreciatively, and hugged him quickly before retiring to her room for the night.

"He'll come around." Sirius added as he continued up the stairs to the room he shared with a Hippogriff. "He took it hard when you left before. Only natural that he take it hard when you return after so long."

She opened her mouth to reply, but simply nodded. Sirius smiled and made his way to her room and once again, she was alone.

The room she entered into was neither warm nor cozy, but she wouldn't rather be in any other room anywhere in the world. Her trunks which were filled with all her belongings were waiting for her there. She was glad she was able to finally give up hiding, and was allowed to live the life she had only mere memories of. Fifteen years of living under a fictional identity had made her realize how lucky she had been to once be in the company of so many gifted caring people. Yet she was unsure if she would be able to just pick up where she had left off .She had changed. Her once carefree temperament had hardened and she was now cautious and almost cold. She had seen so much in her young life that her maturity level and wisdom were that of a person way beyond her years. This made her lose her youthful exuberance and vitality that she was known for so many years earlier. Even physical features about her had changed. Her voice which was once light and airy, like her spirit had become hard. Her face, which was clear to show sign of once being breathtaking was now worn. Her beauty had been dimmed by the years, but also by stress of always living in fear. But it was evident, that when something which brought her great joy, like the sight of Harry earlier in the evening, her face would light up and for that brief moment her face would restore all the life it had once had and it would seem as though she hadn't aged a day.

Tired from her journey, Elle began to undress and change into her pajamas in order to hopefully have a very long awaited and well deserved good night sleep. As she removed her cloak which was still wet she gently tapped it uttering the word _Impervius. _This instantly dried out the cloak and herself.

Examining her arms in the light, she gently ran her fingers over all the scars that were left there from previous battles. She removed her watch to reveal the most obvious of these scars which was located on the underneath of her right wrist. It bore the shape of a V whose tail was longer than the other. Almost to form a check mark. She closed her eyes recalling the day in which she was given that scar but quickly opened them, taking a deep breath and shaking her head. She was given fourteen years to forget about that incident, yet not one day had passed since it happened that she hasn't thought about it.

She snuggled deep under the covers after quickly changing and getting into bed. For once she felt comforted falling asleep. There was a pain that she had carried with her for almost half of her life that had now been lifted. It seemed that now she would finally be able to sleep well.

She woke he next morning to the loud sounds of running feet, and two angry female voices.

One yelled "Fred and George Weasley, you get back her this instant and clean up the mess you've made! I told you it's not safe to just Apparate to wherever you see fit!" She recognized it to be a louder angrier form of Mrs. Weasley's voice, yet the other was new to her.

It screamed, "STAINS OF DISHONOUR! FILTHY MUDBLOODS! CHILDREN OF FILTH! BLOOD TRAITORS!" The voice was loud as it screeched these words and it echoed all throughout the house.

She rose to her feet stretching out her body and the kink in her neck. Unfortunately, despite her optimism, her sleep had been neither deep, nor sound. It was filled with unpleasant images of her past, and horrifying predictions of the future. But she knew better than to look too deeply into dreams and was in no way letting it affect the outcome of her day.

She quickly got dressed buttoning up her white collared shirt and slipping blue sweater overtop of it. Untieing the braid she had left in overnight, her hair fell down on her shoulders with soft curls. She shook her head once running her fingers through her long hair attempting to tame it. Slipping on some jeans, and putting on her watch, she walked out of her bedroom closing her door behind her.

The yelling continued as she made her way down the stairs. Passing the picture of the witch who had be so peacefully sleeping the night before allowed her to identify the mystery voice. Covering her ears with her hands she simply walked by it right into the kitchen.

"She'd awfully vocal for a painting isn't she?" Elle said to all the faces beaming back at her.

"Good morning dear." Mrs Weasley said, her voice now having returned to that which it was last night. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes thank you." she lied.

"Sit down," offered Mrs. Weasley, "have some breakfast with us all."

As she walked around to the other side of the table she could feel all eyes were on her. She took the only available seat in between Mr. Weasley and his daughter.

"So, Albus tells me that you had to live like a Muggle all this time." Mr. Weasley asked, before she could even take a bite out of her toast. "What was it like? Fascinating I would imagine."

"Arthur, perhaps it's best to save our inquiries for later." Remus said as he arrived, walking into the kitchen and hanging his coat on a chair. "I'm sure she'd like to get settled in first."

"Right Remus. Absolutely right." Arthur said, continuing to read the Prophet sprawled out on the able.

"I don't mind." said Elle in a polite voice. "It was quite fascinating. A little hard to get used to a first what being surrounded by Muggles. They have the most absurd set of rules and laws. It took Perkins a great deal of time to prepare me."

"Hey, I work with him." Arthur beamed. "Didn't know he ol' git had it in him."

"What was yo-your job in he Muggle world?" Mr. Weasleys daughter to the left of her asked in a somewhat timid voice.

"I waited tables. It wasn't very glamorous and a whole lot more challenging than the way we do things here. I had to use a minimal amount of magic. The only thing I could to so the Muggles wouldn't notice was put a bewitching charm on my tray. But other than that, everything was done by hand." she smiled at the many pairs of astonished eyes that started back at her. She smiled at the thought of them being so intrigued about a simple job description. She glanced at Lupin and noticed that his eyes were no where on her but busy scanning a newspaper. His lack of interest was enough to wipe the smile from her face.

"Well that simply astounding." Arthur said after a few seconds of contemplation. "Thoset muggles, they never cease to amaze me."

"Where were you living?" Hermoine asked curiously.

"In Northern Europe." she replied simply.

Hermoine's eyes lit up when she said this. "Anywhere near Durmstrang?"

"For a year I lived in the vacinity of it. But every year or so I had to pick up and move. Safety precautions."

The morning continued on like this. Slowly everyone around her became more comfortable and asked a whole range of questions. Ron once even asked her if she'd ever met any famous Quidditch players. The whole table had giggled and his face had turned an even deeper red than his hair. After their breakfast questioning session, everyone in the house seemed to go about their own business. The twins immediately ran up to their rooms and every so often you could hear then run across the hall into the bathroom in what sounded like a vomiting fit. Harry, Ron and Hermoine all sat round the fire; Hermoine reading while the other two played chess. People from the Order kept coming and going. Everyone who came greeted her warmly, especially Mad-Eye who had trained her to be in the Order.

Once the excitement wore down, she set out to find either Harry or Lupin. She felt she owed then both and explanation. She found Remus first, sitting in the kitchen sipping on a cup of tea still entranced by his newspaper.

"Remus, can we talk?" she said softly, hoping her gentle voice might enable him to let his guard down.

"What about?" he said looking up from his paper, trying o dodge the undeniable tension between them.

"Can you think of nothing that we might have to discuss?" Elle replied slyly with a playful smirk. She slowly made her way over to the table and sat in the chair beside him.

"You already thoroughly explained yourself during breakfast Eleanor. There's nothing left to talk about." his words were calm and rational, well suited to the way in which Lupin regularly spoke, but she noticed a frostiness about them he was trying to hide.

"I couldn't tell you." she said, despite his response. "You could've been hurt, or worse, killed."

"So you thought it best to lead me-" he began in a somewhat passionate, but corrected himself, and returned to his previous voice, "to lead us to believe that you had been?"

"I had no choice." Elle pleaded. "Do you think I wanted to leave you? Do you think it was easy for me to just leave everyone that meant anything to me?"

"Well at least you lived with the inclination that we were all okay." Lupin said with a hint of pain, "I had to-we all had to accept that fact that you were gone, dead, and never coming back."

"Remus, you have to understand." she extended her arm to place her hand on his comfortingly, "They killed my family because of me. That pain and responsibility will stay inside me forever. I couldn't stay and watch them do the same to you and everyone else I cared about."

"That wasn't your fault Ellie." he repied consolingly. It was obvious that he was trying to maintain his cold expression, but his eyes betrayed him and expressed his true compassion. "We could've taken care of ourselves. Your family was defenseless. We could've fought it together."

"I wasn't willing to take that chance," she replied looking away, "and there was no way I was going to allow you all to take on my burden."

"We would've willingly." Lupin said smiling and looking deep into her intense blue eyes. Then his smile faded and he removed his and from her grip. "We would've preferred that to suffering the pain of losing you."

Sensing that she had gotten about as much emotion out of him as she could she rose from her chair and turned to leave. Then she stopped, reproached him and kissed him gently on his forehead. "I'm sorry for any pain I have caused you Remus."

As she left he kitchen she felt a hand softly grip her shoulder. She looked into the deep black eyes of Sirius.

"He loves you, you know that don't you?" Sirius whispered.

"He did once. But too much time has gone by. I hurt him too badly." she replied gazing back at him.

"All wounds eventually heal Ellie." Sirius said with a wink. "Come on, lets go talk to Harry. We'll tell him the story about he six of us and that bartender in Hogsmeade."

They both smiled at the memory of their youth. She followed Sirius into the den but not before looking back into the kitchen. She saw Remus gazing into his paper mesmerized, but she knew that he wasn't reading it.


	3. Questioning

The room was quickly filled with warmth and comfort as two old friends tried to retell the joke-filled anecdote from their youth. Ellie and Sirius had a hard time finishing it off since neither one could tell it without bursting out in laughter. Their laughter was undoubtedly contagious and soon everyone in the room was laughing as hard as if it had been their own memory. Even Fred and George seemed impressed by the amount of mischief they had all gotten into.

But it didn't take long for the room to quiet down, like it had the previous evening, yet similarly, the warmth remained. People paired off into their own conversations, some leaving, some going up to bed. Soon all that was left was in the living room were Sirius and Elle.

"Still a night owl then are you Sirius?" she asked him as he began to doze off.

Sirius inhaled deeply waking up a bit, "I guess we're not as young as we used to be Eleanor. There were times when you'd make us stay up the entire night if we had to, just to pass a test the next day."

"That's right," she said smugly, "You and James would complain the entire time, but it was what got you through Hogwarts wasn't it."

"Truth be told," Sirius said smiling playfully, "I always knew all the stuff you were trying to teach me. I just liked to watch Lupin get jealous knowing we'd be up with you all night."

"Are you being serious?" she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, "That boy was practically incapable of jealousy. He didn't even know I liked him until our seventh year, and even then, it took him until after Christmas holidays to ask me to Hogsmeade. I didn't know why it was such a big deal for him. I mean we'd all gone together many times before that."

"That's how Remus was," Sirius said with a sigh, "He's still like that. Not giving himself enough credit. He's a brilliantly gifted wizard, but he lacks confidence. Always has."

She smiled when he said this since she had always thought the exact same thing. It was common for her and Sirius to look at situations with a similar mind set. They'd always had a unique friendship. One where they always understood each other. They rarely disagreed. Right from the start, he'd always stood up for her, always been on her side. They had rarely argued during their friendship. The only instances were during adolescence when Sirius would intentionally disagree with her simply because he knew that she would get worked up. She could count the number of times they disputed with one another on one hand, yet of those few times, their arguments had been monumental.

"I wasn't sure how it would be, you know? I didn't really know what to expect," Ellie said, staring straight ahead at the wall.

"Didn't know how what would be," he questioned politely, sitting up.

She could feel his gaze on her but her eyes remained transfixed on the cracked wallpaper. Taking a moment, she recalled how nervous she'd been before coming to Grimmauld Place. She thought about how she had first denied Dumbledore's offer to join the Order.

"I didn't know what it would be like seeing you both after all that time," she said finally, looking up at Sirius, "I half expected you to kick me out as soon as I arrived. But it's almost as though I never left." She paused and looked in the direction of the kitchen where Lupin had stayed all night conversing with various members of the Order and muttered, "Well with you anyways."

"He took it the hardest of all of us Elle," Sirius said in his friends defense, "You must understand. He believed that he lost everything. You being killed. James and Lily being murdered. Then thinking that I was the one responsible for the death of all three of his best friends. He lost all the people he held dear to his heart. You must give him the benefit of the doubt."

She sat quietly thinking about the words that had just been said to her and realized how selfish she had been.

"You're right Sirius," she said finally, "He's been through more than anyone deserves to go through in a lifetime. I've been selfish to expect his affections."

They sat in silence just looking into the fire. Neither one of them knowing exactly what to say. Both fearing that whatever they did say would only intensify the awkwardness in the room. But they were soon, to their silent relief, interrupted.

"Excuse me." said a voice from behind them, "I'm not interrupting am I?"

Elle got up from her chair to find Harry, dressed for bed standing in the door frame. His hair, more ruffled than it had been naturally, and she smiled wondering if he was going through the same phase his father did, thinking untamed hair was a symbol of being cool.

"Not at all Harry." Sirius answered for both of them, motioning him to come into the room, "You're never a bother, you know that."

"I know, but I was just wondering whether or not this was a good time for you to-" He paused, his gaze now straying toward Elle. "Well do you think you could tell me about my parents now?"

"Oh course Harry." she said softly, motioning for him to come in, "I've been meaning to talk to you."

Sirius smiled and rose to leave. He knew that whatever Ellie was about to tell Harry about their old friends should be between the two of them. He touched her shoulder before leaving the room and gave Harry a quick wink before entering into the kitchen to talk to Remus and whoever else who had joined him.

"Sirius mentioned you and my mom were inseparable?" Harry questioned immediately, as he took the place in the chair next to her where his godfather had previously been sitting.

"He exaggerates," she said, smiling. "But we were friends. Your mother was-" she paused, trying to hide the wave of pain that ran throughout her body, "was very close to my heart, and I to hers."

"Did you know each other in school?" Harry said eagerly.

"Yes," she replied simply. "We knew one another all throughout our time at Hogwarts, but we only become close during our final two years there."

"Why, if you don't mind you asking, did it take so long for you to become close?" he asked.

"We had always known one another," Elle began, "through attending classes and had always been friendly. But we were young, and in the early years at Hogwarts, I had my friends, while she had hers. Most of us at that time basically kept to making friends within your own house. It was rare for houses to mingle. But as we grew older, we spent time together more frequently and grew close. Yet it wasn't until we left the school that our friendship reached its strongest."

"You mean you weren't in Gryffindor like the rest?" He asked, rather surprised.

She let out a laugh at the thought.

"No, no," She said smiling, "As a first year going into Hogwarts, I was terrified. The Sorting Hat would've had to have lost his touch to find any sign of bravery in me. I was sorted into Ravenclaw, and fit in well there. I looked at Hogwarts, not as an adventure, but rather as a sanctuary of learning. It was this view which most likely prevented me from becoming close with your mother and the Marauders during the earlier years at Hogwarts."

"What do you mean by that?" Harry asked.

"I tended to be somewhat of a know-it-all. Actually-"she corrected herself, "most of my knowledge came from the endless hours in my room I spent studying and memorizing. None of it was natural. Anyway, it was enough to land myself on the target list of your dad and the others." She smiled affectionately shaking her head. "I didn't back down though. I fought back as best I could, but I was hopelessly uncoordinated, and quick witty remarks were not my specialty, so in an attempt to defend myself, thinking back, I simply made myself look even worse." She glanced over at Harry and noticed a hint of disinterest in his expression. She quickly tried to wrap up her reminiscent tale, "It wasn't until later years, fourth roughly, that I smartened up and realized that my sole purpose at Hogwarts wasn't to impress. It was around then that I first became close with your mother."

"Not to be rude," Harry said hesitantly, "but is it that most of my parents friends, er-rather, most of my parents _good_ friends," he stumbled mildly with his questioning, but continued on, "Why is it that I've met them all, or at least heard of them. Up until now. Up until you."

She thought on that for a moment unaware of exactly how to respond. Despite all her efforts to maintain the expression on her face, to avoid any signs of emotion, she could feel her face flushing and in doing so revealing her discomfort at the thought of explaining. Her stomach sank and tightened. Response options rushed through her mind. Even if she had been given time to prepare an answer, she knew that there was no way of mildly explaining what she'd done. She dodged the question in an attempt to procrastinate the explanation.

"I guess it was difficult for people to talk of the friendship I had with your parents." Elle responded, "Yet it seems rather unusual for the person who informed you of the friendship between your father and Remus and Sirius to hold back my friendship with your mother."

Harry's expression softened and his smile faded. His gaze left her eyes and met the floor. She rethought the words she had just spoken scanning them for any offence that could've been brought on.

"Harry?" she questioned, "Is something the matter?"

"No." he said in a meek voice. "I was just remembering the way in which I had found out the relationship between Sirius and my parents. It was completely by accident, and it wasn't until I met Professor Lupin that I was aware of their friendship."

"Surely you were told something prior to meeting Remus." she said, somewhat shocked at this revelation.

"No." he said, as if he were ashamed.

"But Dumbledore, he informed me that you were living with your aunt and uncle. Surely they told you some stories of your parents."

"No." he replied again, "It wasn't until my first year at Hogwarts until I knew about the way in which the actually died. They had told me it had been a car wreck and I had believed them until Hagrid informed me about Voldemort."

She sat there taken aback. Unable to grasp the concept of what it would've been like for an orphaned boy to grow up with little to no legitimate knowledge of his parents, and then find out the truth eleven years later. The thought of Remus flashed in her mind and she realized that the situation was not so much different. She placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, and his eyes abandoned their stare towards the ground and once again met with hers.

"Well it's time you knew what your parents were like." she said smiling encouragingly, "Anything you want to know, I'll try my best to tell you. It's unfair that you never got the pleasure to meet them. But I've heard stories you know, even while I was hiding, Dumbledore would often speak of your accomplishments, and it is evident that you would've made your parents nothing but proud."

She could see in his face that he was appreciative of her words, yet she knew in her heart that no matter how much this boy heard of what his parents would've been like, it would never come close to replacing their absense.

"But you'd best be heading up to bed now. You don't want Molly to come down and see you still awake." She told him with a quick wink. "Remember, anything you need, don't hesitate to ask."

He nodding thanking her as he headed up for bed.

"Sleep well Harry," she called to him quietly as he left.

"Goodnight," he said before leaving and making his way back up to his room.

Left alone in the room, her thoughts took over her mind. She stared into the fireplace as memories from her past crept into her head and she relived the last times she had felt truly happy. These thoughts had gotten her through the nights she spent unable to sleep, yet in the end, she was always left feeling more alone. It had been difficult leaving a life in which she had always been surrounded by those she loved and who loved her and replacing it with one of bitter isolation. Often, over the past fifteen years, she would sink into temporary states of depression, feeling anger toward her situation. Yet she was forced to pull herself through it. Without the frequent updates from Dumbledore, she was sure she would've contacted people from her past, despite the dangers.

She rose from her chair, getting ready to retire to her bedroom despite her absence of fatigue. The house was had grown quiet and dark and had been like this for quite some time. She had heard Sirius make his way up to his room some time earlier while she had been talking with Harry and the murmur of voices from the levels above was now replace with complete silence.

"I overheard what you said," she heard a voice say from her left.

Startled she jumped a little, but her heart was lifted at the sound of his voice.

"I thought you'd left," she told Remus as he joined her in the living room.

"No," he said rubbing the back of his neck, "I wasn't entirely ready to leave just yet."

He sat down and she did the same. There were an uncountable amount of things she wanted to say to him, but she could sense there was something more important he wanted to talk about, so she sat quietly just watching me. He sat with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands interlocked and forearms parallel to the ground.

"I'm glad you're back," he said finally without looking at her. She smiled, knowing that she was wanted by him, until he added, "It'll be good for Harry."

Her smile faded slightly, but she tried to maintain it. Although she wished he would tell her that his gladness was due to her being good for him, she was glad that he somewhat appreciated her presence.

"Sirius and I," he continued, "we try our best to fill the void left by the absence of Lily and James, but we," he paused, "I hardly make a difference."

"Remus I'm sure-", she began but was cut off as he raised his hand toward her indicating that he wasn't finished.

"I envy Sirius you know." He continued smiling slightly as he lightly shook his head, "I always didg. But the relationship he has with Harry, it's just, it's so like the one which Harry would've had with James. I wonder whether or not I could've played the same role in Harry's life as Sirius now does if the truth about him had never come out. I'd like to think I would, but I know myself enough to know it wouldn't."

The whole time he was talking his voice remained steady and his stare remained directly in front of him. It was clear though by the pain and shame in his face that he felt as though he was failing.

"Harry needs all the parental figures in his life as he can get, though nothing will ever compensate for the lack of Lily and James," he took a deep breath and paused briefly. Elle had to fight her intense impulse to walk over and comfort him, but she knew, the only thing she could do for him now was listen. "That was the one thing I could've done to help them; be a father figure for Harry, and I didn't even try to contact him prior to his third year at Hogwarts. I was so caught up in my own pain and loss that I didn't even consider getting in touch with him. Dumbledore would've allowed it too I bet. I had my Wolfsbane. He could've stayed with me. Instead he had to stay with those wretched people who treated him like dirt. I could've pretended to be his Muggle uncle, something, anything," his voice was more passionate now, almost desperate. He let out a sigh and it returned to it's calm state. "It's just so hard for me to become close with anyone now. That's why I'm glad you've come back. Sirius has taken on the role of Harry's godfather, and you should take yours as his godmother."

"But Remus, I'm not Harry's godmother," she responded taken aback.

"We both know it's what Lily and James would've wanted," he said looking up. His gaze met hers now for the first time during his entire speech. She saw now just how extreme the look of failure, which had been hinted by his facial expression and tone of voice, really was. Lupin had always been able to mask his feelings, but it was impossible for his eyes to lie, especially to hers.

She wasn't sure how to respond. It was clear that Harry's relationship with Sirius, which was significantly stronger and closer than the one between Harry and himself, was somehow paralleling the same issue he had concerning of the relationship between the two and James. The four boys had always been close. If she had to judge, the closest three would've been Remus, Sirius and James, only because Peter, as they all knew now, had always been a little off. But their friendships were always equally strong. They had also been very different, but none were ever of more importance than the other. This, although, she knew was only the perception of an outsider. It was obvious that Remus had felt second to Sirius when it came to their friendship with James. A misconception which would've only been strengthened with the naming of the godfather of James' first born son. But now, that same feeling of being second to Sirius was being brought to the surface due to his relationship with Harry. As much as he said he was glad that she was back for Harry's sake, she knew that a part of him resented her for it, since she figured that he predicted that she would be equally as close to Harry as Sirius was, only in a motherly role. Therefore, she would be closer to Harry than he was.


	4. Answers

She hadn't slept well at all that night making it the second in a row and the morning came earlier than she expected. She awoke this morning not to the sound of screaming, but to the smell of breakfast and the tightness in her stomach reminded how long it had been since she had last eaten. She rose from her bed stretching in the same manner she did each morning. She glanced at her trunk which was open spilling out her clothes all over the floor. It looked as though it had exploded from being so full and none of the clothes seemed to be folded and they all looked practically the same. She absentmindedly picked out a plain white shirt, a crimson sweater and a pair of kakhi pants. She dressed quickly and began to open the door when she stopped dead. Turning back she grabbed her watch off the table and put it on quickly. Then she closed the door behind her and made her way down the stairs.

Tying her messy hair back in a ponytail as she walked into the kitchen, she noticed she was one of the first up. She was greeted warmly by Molly as she entered.

"Good morning dear," she said as she turned around from the oven. "Didn't think we'd be seeing you up so early. You were last to go to bed last night. Did you sleep well."

"Yes," she lied, for the second morning in a row. "Do you need any help?"

"No, no," she replied, turning back to the breakfast, "you go sit in the living room dear. I'll call you once breakfast is ready."

She did as told and was quick to do so. She wouldn't have known how to help even if Molly had accepted her offer.

She went into the living room where Arthur was sitting reading the Daily Prophet. He threw it down in what seemed to be frustration and muttered a sentence under his breath which seemed to include the words "rubbish" and "idiots" along with a few other mild swears. She smiled and sat down beside him.

"You're up early." he said, his voice changing dramatically to cheerful.

She nodded. "What's planned for today?" she asked.

"We just take it as it comes. Members will be dropping by and reporting in. I take it Dumbledore has filled you in as to what's been going on lately?"

"Yes, I've talked with a few members. Any new news."

"Nothing as of yet," he said taking a sip from his mug. "Word is Dumbledore might be dropping in himself tonight."

She beamed at the thought. Dumbledore was one of the only people in the Order she felt truly comfortable around. Despite their warm welcome, most of the members still found it odd that she should be allowed in the Order due to the belief that she had been dead. He knew the reason she had to live in isolation for so long and would treat her no differently than he had for the past years.

"As for me, I'd best be getting to work." He smiled and made his way back to the kitchen to say goodbye to his wife before proceeding over to the fireplace.

The rest of the morning went on rather slowly. It was just Elle and Molly for most of the morning, until she insisted she wake the others up. Elle feared that this was because they had run out of things to talk about. Their entire conversation had been somewhat censored. It was as though Molly intentionally tried to spark conversation that would in no way lead to the past. She mainly just talked about Harry and his accomplishments, which was in no way boring to Elle. But uncomfortable at times when Molly would accidentally mention Remus or Sirius and instantly become flustered and change the subject.

Breakfast wasn't much different than the day before. It seemed as though everyone had thought up new questions to ask her. Yet her interrogation was much shorter this morning than it was yesterday. After breakfast she insisted on clearing the table and letting Molly rest. The twins questioned her lack of magic, and she simply replied stating that not all things had to be done with a wand in hand. They seemed shocked by this response and left before their mother could say anything.

Sirius, Remus and Elle were the only ones in the kitchen after everything had been cleared away since Molly dashed off to go find the cause of a crash from upstairs. The tension was minimal but vaguely rose once Sirius piped up.

"So what was it like?" he asked her. "You haven't really mentioned it."

She had just sat down from clearing the table and his sudden interest in her experience was a bit shocking. It was the one of the blunt questions people in the house had avoided asking her.

"Hard," she answered simply and honestly.

"I know what you mean," he told her with a look of sympathy while nodding his head. "Not having any contact with anyone. No one knowing the truth about you. But you had the option of leaving. I can't even imagine the discipline that must've taken."

"That was the hardest part. Not leaving. Not breaking cover," she said this not looking at Sirius, but at Remus, "But it had to be done. If my whereabouts was known it would've been dangerous. But I did have contact. Without it I would've gone mad."

Just as she said this the door swung open.

"Don't look." Sirius told her, perking up in order to block her view. His voice suddenly oddly panicked. "Now I know it'll be hard for you to grasp, it was hard for all of us to grasp, but it'll be especially hard for you. Just know that he's on our side now."

"What are you talking about," she questioned, craning her neck to see who had just entered. "Who are you talking about."

"We found it hard to believe since he was the one assigned to kill you, and up until now we thought he had." Remus chimed in now. "But you escaped. Just remember that. Try to believe that he has good left in him."

She stood instantly taking in a short shuddered breath. She now knew who they were talking about. She began to make her way to the doorway but Sirius grabbed her arm.

"Now listen to me Elle, you mustn't do anything rash," he warned her in a calming voice. "Calm down first before you go out there."

She shook lose of his grip and bolted out of the kitchen. Followed close behind were Remus and Sirius calling out telling her to stop. Telling her that he was a member of the Order. Then she spotted him. She spotted the man that Voldemort personally assigned to murder her. The man who begged Voldemort to let him have the honour of watching her suffer and inflicting pain. Emotion bubbling inside her. Tears burning the corners of her eyes, fighting to be released. She saw only the back of him. Long, black hair. Reaching her shaking arm out, she swung him around and met his cold, dark eyes.

"Severus," she said in a meek voice that was barely a whisper, taking a step back. It was all she had the strength to say. Then giving in to all the emotion she was desperately trying to hold back, she did what she had wanted to do for fourteen years. She threw her arms around him and embraced him as tight as she could.

Taken by surprise he gently tapped her back before lightly pushing her off him.

"Eleanor," he said with a subtle warmth, smiling the tiniest bit he could. "Good to see you."

There was silence in the room and it was as though they were the only two in it. They just looked at one another for what seemed like minutes, but was merely a few moments. Then, Sirius' voice brought them back to reality.

"He killed you," he screamed. His voice was so loud it made her jump and soon, the voice of his mother rang throughout the house.

"What?" she said questioningly.

"I said he killed you," he was now standing between the two pointing his finger accusingly at Severus.

"Clearly Sirius," Severus said expressionless, his voice now cold, "even you can see that there is no way I could've killed her since she is very much alive and standing right in front of you."

"You know what I mean Snape," he said coldly, turning his back and grasping Elle's shoulders. "You do know that he tried to kill you, right?" His voice was now deperate

"No, Sirius, you've got it all wrong," she said confused, breaking free from his grasp. She walked over to Snape and stood beside him protectively. "He never tried to kill me."

"That's what we were told Eleanor," Remus said calmly, walking toward her. "When Dumbledore told us all you had died, he told us it was at the wand of Snape. We watched you get taken away by him."

"Well Remus, perhaps you'd think to question what you were told since the fact about the death of her seemed to turn out to be fictional." Snape said defensively. "Have you still not asked her how she managed to survive?"

"We just assumed she'd escaped you." Sirius snapped.

"No," Elle said softly. "There was no way I could've escaped Snape." She took a deep breath. "You both were there. You saw. Come. Come into the living room, I'll explain."

The four of the sat down in the room. All three men scowling.

"To be honest," Elle began, "I was a bit surprised that you hadn't asked me about my survival. You were all there that night. The fight against Voldemort. One of the last. The whole Order was there. It was days before Lily and James-well, you remember. The night I attempted to face Voldemort one on one. The night I got this," she said this as she pushed up her sleeve, removing her watch to reveal the mark she had tried so desperately to keep hidden.

They winced at the sight of her scar. Only it didn't look like a scar. It looked as though it was a fresh wound, and had been since the day she got it. A wound that had never healed.

"The night he attempted to place the Cruciatus curse upon me," she continued, "but somehow it failed. You remember, we narrowly escaped and he pledged he would one day kill me. Dumbledore suggested I hide, and when I did, he murdered my family. So the only option I had was to confront him. Seemingly I was alone, only you two, Lily, James and few others followed me. I begged you, I begged you to let me sacrifice myself in an attempt to destroy him. Only that night I wasn't as lucky. His curse had worked on me. He tortured me. But I tried to fight it the same way I had the night before. That's when Snape stepped in." As she said this, she placed her hand on his knee. Sirius looked away in disgust and Remus flinched subtly. "He pleaded with Voldemort, asking him to be given the honour of murdering me, and Voldemort granted it. The last thing you saw was me being carried away by Severus."

"Exactly," Sirius interrupted. "That was the last thing we saw. We thought the worst after the way he begged Voldemort to take you. How were we to think anything different."

"That's what I'm trying to explain to you Sirius," she said, pleading with him. "That's what you were supposed to think; what everyone was supposed to think. Including Voldemort. But I was never murdered. Severus spared my life and in doing so proved that he was renouncing his loyalty to the Dark Lord, and soon after completely abandoned the Death Eaters. However, Voldemort had to believe I was dead in order to protect you all. So for the last fourteen years, the only two people who knew about my whereabout were Dumbledore, and Severus."

The room was silent. Both Remus and Sirius were taken aback. Then Sirius' face tightened and he rose. As soon as he did, the others did as well. He lunged at Snape screaming, "This whole time you knew! You knew she was alive and you didn't tell us!", but Elle stopped him and held him back.

"Sirius, he couldn't have," she pleaded, "If he had, you would've come looking for me. I needed to be thought of as dead in order to protect myself and everyone else close to me."

"I can't believe of all the people that could've known you were alive, it was him you trusted." Sirius said looking at Eleanor disgusted. There was a pain in his eyes that could only come from being betrayed.

"Sirius Black," she said sternly, "he saved my life. Who knows how long Voldemort would've tortured me. Probably as much as he could before killing me since people were questioning his power. That's why he wanted me found. That's why if I had stayed in hiding, he would've tortured me emotionally by killing the ones I loved if he couldn't torture me physically under the Cruciatus curse. Severus saved me."

"No! We could've saved you!" Sirius yelled, "We could've hidden you. You didn't need him."

Elle attempted to calm down her friend, but the smug smirk that was plastered on Snape's face made it impossible. They spat a few snide remarks back and fourth, but it became too much for him to handle.

"Sirius, please," she called out, but it was too late. He'd already left the room and it was clear he didn't want to see her. The room fell silent and Elle stood, arms crossed with her shoulders tightly hunched forward, biting her lip. She looked over to Remus who was now sitting with his head in his hands. He looked up at her with a pained expression not unlike the one on Sirius' face. Only, it was worse. It showed no signs of anger, but betrayal.

"Remus, I'm sorry." She muttered. She wasn't sure why she was apologizing. There had been no other way. Had she allowed her friends to hide her, word of her survival would've leaked out and Voldemort would've come looking for her. If there had been any option to spare her friend the remorse of dealing with her death, she would've taken it, but there wasn't one that could've been arranged without further pain and suffering brought to the ones she loved.

He sighed, rose from his seat and left the room the same way Sirius had. She fought the instinct to follow him and stayed in the room with Snape.

He walked over to her and she looked up into his cold dark eyes.

"They aren't angry with you Eleanor," he said finally, then his voice became bitter and resentful, "Those two are used to being heroes. Always need to be saving the day. That's why they got so angry. They lost they're chance to be conceited about another accomplishment."

"You don't know them the way I do," she told him.

"Yes. I'm grateful for that," he replied smuggly.

She smiled weakly, even thought she could tell his comment was meant to be taken seriously.

"It's good to see you," she said touching his hand lightly. She felt him tense up and she quickly removed it.

"I've come to see Alastor," he said immediately, quick to ignore her sign of affection. "I was told that Dumbledore might be stopping by later tonight?"

"Yes," she replied, "I've heard that as well."

"Well, I shall see you then," then he too left her.

She took a seat, keeping her body tight. She felt horrible about the confrontation that had just taken place, but she should've expected it. The news that Snape had known the truth about her would've come as a painful shock to Remus and Sirius, and she knew that. She wished now she had told them prior to the encounter. She surveyed the room, not entirely sure if she should leave it and go some place private when her gaze met Harry's. He was standing in the doorway looking right at her.

"Harry," she said in a startled voice. "I didn't see you there."

"I'm sorry," he replied, "I didn't mean to startle you. Can I come in."

"Of course," she said, her expression melting instantly. She motioned for him to sit with her.

"I couldn't help overhearing part of your conversation," he told her, looking a bit ashamed.

She let out a chuckle saying, "Oh I'm sure you could've helped it. You're so like your father." He looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. She raised her voice a little stating, "And if your friends are anything like his, I'll bet they're standing right outside the door."

Then Ron, as if being pushed, stumbled into the room. Following him were Hermione and Ginny.

"We didn't mean to," Ron began, "It's just, with being told so little, and Mum not letting us anywhere near the Order.." He trailed off looking to Hermoine.

"We've just be accustomed to," her face flushed, "well eavesdropping."

Elle smiled warmly at them and motioned them over the same way she had to Harry.

"Eavesdropping isn't always a bad habit to have," she told them winking. Then she lowered her voice, "So long as you don't get caught." Once they were all seated, she could sense they were mildly uncomfortable. "I suppose now that you have new information about me, you've come up with some more questions."

They looked at each other, not really sure what to say. It was clear that an adult openly inviting them to ask questions hadn't happened to them often. Harry seemed the most confident and comfortable and therefore, he was the first to speak.

"Well," Harry began. "I heard you say something about Voldemort's curse failing on you. I assumed when you took off your watch you were showing them some sort of mark. Is it like mine?"

As he said this, he pushed back his hair revealing the lightning shaped scar he'd become famous for.

"In a way Harry, it is like your scar. Only yours is much worse. See when Vold-" she stopped herself when she realized that three out of the four of them winced at the sound, "when You-Know-Who attempted to curse you, he used the strongest of the three unforgivables, and it was at full force. But, as I'm sure you've been told, it was your mothers love that spared you and destroyed him. With me, it was as though-" she paused again trying to think of a way to explain it, "it was as though I fought against it and escaped. It was pure luck mind you. I tried to block my face and he hit me here." When she said this she pointed to the back side of her wrist underneath he palm. She had since pulled her sleeve down so the mark wasn't revealed.

"Did it leave a scar?" Harry questioned.

"Well," she said hesitantly, unsure whether or not to uncover it, "in a way it did. But I have a question for you. I assume that lately, your scar has been stinging, or even bleeding. Am I right?"

"It stings sometimes. It prickles mainly, but it has never bled." he told her.

"Neither did mine," she explained. She drew a breath, "but see, your mark would be considered a scar. It has since healed. Whereas my mark," she lifted her sleeve, "has not."

Hermione and Ginny both turned their heads in disgust, and Ron winced but his eyes remained transfixed. Harry, however, stared on. His expression didn't change.

"I thought you said it didn't bleed," Ron said finally, breaking the silence.

She quickly re-covered her arm and relieved the tension in the room.

"It didn't used to," she replied in a weak voice, "only when Vold-, You-Know-Who, came back into full power did it begin to bleed."

Harry opened his mouth, but just as he was about to say something, Molly Weasley came into the room.

"Come on you lot," she exclaimed, "time to get a move on. We've got a lot of cleaning to do."

"Is there anything I can do Molly?" Elle asked, desperate to be of some help.

"No, no dear," she told her, "you just stay in here. I'm sure Members from the Order will want to be seeing you all day. Just relax."

"We'll talk later," she said in a voice barely higher than a whisper.

They all nodded and then rose reluctantly to follow Mrs. Weasley up the stairs and for the second time that morning, Eleanor was left alone. She had nothing to do but sit around and wait. But there was only one man she was really waiting for, and an entire day had to pass before she'd be able to see him.

Thanks for continuing to read. I'd love to hear what you think. Please, let me know. : )


	5. Memories

She stayed in the living room a little while longer before making her way up the stairs to her room. With Molly quite adamantly refusing to allow her to help, along with Sirius and Remus not in the mood to see her, she thought it best if she stayed in her room and waited it out until Dumbledore arrived. It wasn't as though she'd had trouble being isolated in waiting before.

Sitting down she pulled her trunk over to her the bedside. Rummaging through it she was reminded of what her life was once like. She had old pictures and keepsakes she'd kept over the years dating back to her first year at Hogwarts. Each item she had reminded her of a memory, and she could recall them as clearly as if she were looking at it through a Pensive. As she shifted through her things, her memory was flooded with image from her past. Never stopping on one for longer than she held the picture, but sailing to the next instantly. Not until she picked up a certain picture that made her mind focus in on one specific thought. It was as clear as day. She'd always loved this picture because no one in it had known it was being taken. It was a picture of Lily, herself and few of their friends by the edge of the lake. Just laughing and having fun, completely oblivious that they were all being watched through the shutter of a camera. They'd spent many warm days by that lake over the years. She let out a sigh. It seemed so long ago to her. She clutched the picture to her chest, laid down on her her bed, closed her eyes and remembered.

"Lily!" Someone called out as she ran over to the lake. "Lil," she said, out of breath, "what's going on. Why were all those people crowded around the beech tree just now? What happened?"

Her ivory skin was soft, radiant and glowing; free from wear and stress. Her eyes beamed as blue as the lake and just as deep. Her features were stunning, yet subtly beautiful. Her face had an expression of curious questioning. The girl who she had called out to was equally beautiful in a completely different way. She was unique with thick, dark-red hair and piercing green almond-shaped eyes. Her face too was pale, but she wore a powerful look.

"Potter was picking on Severus again, Ellie." She told her friend frowning.

"When are they just going to give it up." She replied shaking her head, "I mean, it's fifth year. Grow up. Snape has a hard enough time as it is. He hasn't even got any friends," she paused, then added, "although, he doesn't try for any either."

Lily nodded in agreement. "Still, no one deserves that."

"You stood up for him again didn't you." Elle said, reading the look on her friend's face.

"Well someone had to. It was more me standing up to James Potter. Him and Sirius strutting around the grounds, thinking they can get away with anything." She answered. "I could've used your help too. Where were you?"

"I was talking to Flitwick about my O.W.L. He was no help. I swear Lil, if he liked me half as much as he did you, I would've gotten a lot more help. Not all of us can master charms though."

The two continued walking up and down the side of the lake, discussing things like O.W.L's and the allusive Mauraders, until they were interrupted by one of them. It was James Potter.

"Lily?" he said, in an awkwardly small voice. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Stunned by the situation, she nodded, giving Potter a chance to speak. Perhaps hoping for once he'd have something decent to say.

"Alone, if possible," he added.

The two walked off, Lily looking back at Elle confused.

Elle was now alone. She shivered as she looked out over the lake. She wished she had a camera with her. The view she was seeing was nothing short of picturesque. The sun-glistened water was moving gently and the clouds in the sky seemed as though they'd been painted. She took and deep breath and sat down on the bank to relax. But her moment of tranquility was cut short when she heard voices behind her.

"Hey Yorky. What are you doing over hear all by yourself? It's like we're back in third year again?" The voice of Sirius Black called out, followed by a mousy chuckle from Peter Pettigrew.

She should've known that if James has met up with them, his friends were sure to be close by.

"I was just with Lily, but it seems she's off with one of your three friends." She replied, implying he only had three. She walked past him and then stopped instantly. "Remus, hi," she said suddenly. "How-how'd you do on your O.W.L.S?"

Remus looked at the ground and then up at her, "I, uh, I think I did alright. A few tricky questions, but I think I managed to pull of an A, maybe even and E."

"Wow, that's great. You've always been the brightest in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I had a bit of trouble on question 10. I don't know much about Lycanthropy," when she said this, James let out a dog-like laugh. Ignoring him, she continued, "but, I'll be happy if I get an E, but an O would be incredible."

"Well, good luck to you," Remus said, smiling shyly. They're stare continued for a few more moments even after they were finished talking. It was only broken when Lily and James returned. An awkwardness fell over the group until Sirus spotted Severus.

"Hey James, how about Round Two on old Snivellus?" he said with a mischievous grin.

Lily opened her mouth to object, but James cut her off. "Nah, that's enough for today. Come on, let's head over to the Quiddich pitch. I want to watch how Hufflepuff is practicing," he winked at Lily before making his way toward the direction of the pitch.

Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets, and began to walk backwards in the direction of James. "Evans," he said with a nod. "York, always a pleasure." He raised his eyebrows than charismatically spun on his heel and walked away. Peter scampered along behind him.

Remus simply smiled, nodded, and said goodbye. Slinging his book under his arm and he too followed his friends to the pitch.

"Did you find that a bit-" Elle paused, "odd?"

"More than a little bit." Lily responded. "They were actually, what's the word, normal for once. Even maybe a little, nice? Maybe it'll be like that from now on." Both girls chuckled.

"So what'd James want?" Elle inquired.

Lily cheeks suddenly matched the colour of her hair. "Nothing much," she lied, "just apologizing for what happened with Severus."

"Oh yeah?" Elle said with a smile, able to tell her friend was lying, "Is that all?"

"Ellie," Lily said, ignoring the obvious sarcasm in her voice, "Let's get going, it'll be dinner soon."

"Alright," she said to her friend, "maybe we should swing by the Quiddich pitch on our way."

"Don't be ridiculous Elle. Let's go." Lily said, but the entire walk back, she couldn't stop smiling.

Elle opened her eyes and smiled. They hadn't known it then, but that was the beginning of a lifelong friendship between them all. In real fact, it was more like a friendship that could've lasted a lifetime. Her smile faded and shadow was cast over her expression. She regretted all the time she wasted in her life. They were the years in which she should've been happiest, and all she had to hang onto were memories. Sirius and Remus had been surprisingly understanding up until this afternoon, but she knew that they'd always feel betrayed and the relationships she shared with both of them would never reach the height they were once intended to. But she was at least grateful that she had been given a second chance to be with Remus and Sirius. She hadn't been given the chance to make things right with Lily and James. They died believing she was dead. But what she regretted the most was the way things had been between her and Lily prior to her death. She'd always wanted to resolve it but she never got the chance, and now, she never would.

She laid back on her bed and closed her eyes again, only this time, the image that she saw was much less inviting as the one she had seen earlier.

"How could you say that to me? After all we've been through?" Lily said softly, in a meek, broken voice. She had with tears in her once stunning green eyes; now they looked pained and hurt. Her usually pretty face was stained with tears and smudged make-up. She took a deep breath and said in a steady, rational voice, "I hate you."

A knock on her door jerked her out of the painful re-enactment inside her head and she couldn't have been more relieved. Despite how comforting her memories had been during her time alone, she would've given it up to have that image erased from her mind.

She wiped away the few tears that formed almost as instantly as the memory had. There was a second knock and she knew that she needed to stabilize her fluttering emotions.

"Come-" she squeaked, her throat dry from her attempt to contain her sadness. She swallowed and said in a much sturdier voice, "come in."

The door slowly opened and she saw it was Severus. His face wore the same cold, hard expression he'd had the entire time she'd known him, but as soon as he saw her his features softened. Most people who knew Snape wouldn't have noticed the difference, but she could tell in his eyes and his faint expression change that he was concerned.

"Oh I'm fine," she insisted, before he even said a word.

"This isn't about what happened downstairs is it?" he questioned, almost in disbelief as he walked over to her, "Honestly Elle, don't concern yourself with their childish hatred toward me."

"No," she replied simply, "it's not that."

"Lily?" he asked simply, as if knowing it was one of the few things that could make her cry.

She nodded. He sat down next to her and instinctively wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape. As soon as he'd realized what he'd done might show some sign of feeling, he pulled his hand away as quickly as if Elle's face had been the element on a stove.

"I've told you, at least a dozen times before Eleanor," he said, his voice almost irritated, "there was nothing you could've done."

She smiled meekly, but it was clear that it would take more than that simple phrase to console her.

As if Snape knew she was unsatisfied, he continued. "She was lucky to have you. You've told me that that was one of the hardest things you've ever had to do, and you've had numerous hard times to chose from. It was a sacrifice that you made to protect her and she would've been grateful if she'd known the truth."

She smiled much more convincingly know, and it was clear that she appreciated his kindness. She reached out and affectionately placed her hand on his chest to show her gratitude and he uncomfortably.

"Stop," she told him sternly. "I'm not a stranger, Severus." She paused. "It's okay for you to care about me. We're friends and its as if you're always trying to deny that. Just stop."

He relaxed and took her hand in his. He squeezed it lightly, smiled at her, then rose. "I'm leaving now. That was what I intended to tell you when I came up here. I will return later when Dumbledore is expected."

She nodded, and he turned to leave. "Try not to be in tears when I come back." he added, as he was walking out the door. Though his voice carried the implication that he was trying to be snide, she smiled knowing that had been the intended result.

He closed the door behind him and once again she was left alone, with nothing to do but sift through memories of a happier time.

**Thanks so much for reading. How do you feel about the relationship between Elle and Severus? Feel free to comment and review. They're much appreciated. **


	6. Tense

Isolated in her room with the intention of raking through her memories until she was summoned downstairs, Elle soon realized that this could not be executed as effectively as she had planned. She had so far managed to stay there for the entire afternoon, and she saw now that the light was giving way to darkness and soon the sun would vanish for the day completely. The problem was that dwelling on her past at Hogwarts, and the time shortly thereafter, was bittersweet. It gave her temporary relief from reality, yet when she snapped out of her daydream, she was left with a feeling of emptiness and regret. She battled these thoughts as though they were an awful addiction. She was aware that diving into her past would give her temporary joy and tranquillity, yet when her high ceased, she ended up being more hurt than before she started. In the end, her will power forced her to break free and focus her mind on other things. Hesitant to confront Sirius and Remus, assuming they still needed time to cool off, she paced her room wondering what to do with herself. She had become accustomed to being on her own, and knew ways to keep busy by herself. But she would much rather be social, even if it meant another heated argument, than sit upstairs alone.

She walked quietly over to the door and slowly opened it. It made a slow, echoed, creaking noise and she froze to eliminate it. Then, laughing a little at her childish instinct to remain unheard, she opened it in one swift movement and stepped out into the hall. Just as she was about to make her way down the stairs, an odd noise caught her attention. She turned around, craning her neck to see what had been the cause of the racket, and when the noise surfaced again her curiosity took hold of her. She gripped the railing on the stairs and proceeded to climb them, going in the opposite direction of the voices heard below. The further up she got, the darker it became.

Once she had reached the top of the stairs, she turned to her right and found the door that was concealing the sound. Holding her breath, unsure of what to expect, she placed her hand flat on the door and the other on the knob turning it slowly, pushing the door open. She peeked through the crack and saw nothing. Opening it a little more, she barely recognized it as being a bedroom. Relaxing, she let out her breath, but was surprised by the smell of the room upon her next inhale. An odd combination of meat and hay, masked with burning of mallowsweet, filled her nose. She sniffed the air a little more to try to pinpoint the smells, but as she did so, a sharp, powerful exhalation came from behind her. She whipped around to be greeted by a great, grey Hippogriff.

Panicking, she froze. The beast approached her clapping its hooves and breathing aggressively. She backed away a few steps, then remembered what to do. She locked eyes with it, then bowed as low as she could without toppling over. For the second time, she held her breath in anticipation, waiting for a response from the animal. He then returned the gesture and instantly changed to exude a carefree, almost friendly temperament. He trotted over to her nudging her hand, and she stroked his feathers in response..

"You gave me quite a scare there," she said in a soft, mothering tone, even though her heart was still pounding so loud that he could probably hear it. "I guess they forgot to tell me that there was a Hippogriff inhabiting this room."

She smiled, continuing to stroke his glossy feathers. Then he lowered his head and clipped his beak lightly at her pockets. Letting out a small laugh she told him, "Sorry. You won't be finding any ferrets in these pockets."

"No, but he'd find some in mine," said Remus, behind her. "I thought I heard you come up here. He must've been a bit of a surprise for you."

"Just a little," she said. She was unsure whether or not he had been joking, but he flickered a smile at her response.

"His names Buckbeak," he said, as he strode over to him and began petting him the same way she just had. She laughed internally. She had heard that name mentioned before, but she had always assumed it was the name of an owl. Remus then he took a few steps back, hurled a ferret into the air and watched as the creature reared onto it's hind legs and snatched the dead animal out of the air, "and it's around this time that he eats his dinner."

He strewed out a few more ferrets and Buckbeak. There was an uncomfortable tension between the two of them and Elle thought it best for him to speak to her first. She watched as walked over the the window. Placing his hands on the sill, he locked his elbows and hung his head letting out a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry," she blurted. Unable to think of anything else to say.

He rubbed the back of his neck, stretching it a bit, then said finally, "it's too much Elle." His eyes were transfixed on the ground below. "You know," he continued, shaking his head and letting out what could only be described as a halfhearted form of a laugh, "when I saw you walk into the room the other night, my heart lifted for the first time in a long while. For a split second, I thought," he paused, "I don't even know what I thought, but I know now I was foolish to think it."

She took a few steps toward him but he held up his hand in objection.

"I tried to understand why you left," he continued, "when you explained your reason, I tried to keep an open mind and accept your rationale for doing it. Protecting us made sense, but not enough. With Voldemort missing as a threat, there was no real reason why you couldn't have resurfaced."

"But there was," she said walking over to him now, despite the fact that she wasn't welcome. It was killing her to hear his voice say these words. Hear him question her desire to keep him safe. Watch his face, which only harboured trace signs of the one she once knew, be shrouded with anguish and despair.

"You may be right. After what happened this morning and I thought a fair bit about it and there may have been goof reason for you to have stayed hidden. I know that now," he said, his voice laced with bitterness. He turned to her, his gaze at her feet. She wasn't sure she was prepared to have him lock his eyes with hers, and when he finally did, his agony bore into her. "You said that the reason you left, or rather, the reason you stayed away, was to protect us. Protect the ones you loved. Protect me. But was it?"

"Of course," she pleaded, "I couldn't bear to see you in danger. I didn't want to lose you."

"But you did just that," he argued.

"It was to protect you," she explained, desperately hoping he'd understand.

"Was it?" he questioned again, unconvinced, "Or was is to protect him."

Her heart sank. She fought of the tears that seemed to instantly form near her eyes. He didn't trust her.

"Remus," she whispered, reaching out to touch him. But he flinched away subtly and she retracted her arm. "The Death Eaters were dying to maintain their allegiance to the Dark Lord. If word got out that I was alive they would've come after us."

"You didn't know that," he snapped back at her. He turned away, returning to his position, hunched over the window, trying to keep calm. "You didn't know that for sure. But the one thing that you could guarantee, was that if you were found to be alive, Severus surely would've been reprimanded, and you just couldn't have that."

She hopelessly tried to find words to deny this, but she knew she couldn't. "It's true. His safety was another factor."

"It was the only factor, Elle," he said, his voice now free from anger and frustration, but filled with pure pain and defeat. "After what happened to Sirius and to Peter. After what happened to James and Lily. After learning I was the only one left, you still couldn't have risked telling me. Four of the five people you were trying to protect were either dead or in Azkaban, yet you still didn't trust me to keep your secret? I would've come. Even if only to visit you as Severus did," he spoke the last sentence with a disgusted voice. She knew now that to him, she had become another person who had placed him in second. She knew it must've been eating him up; the thought of being second to her by Severus Snape.

"I wanted to tell you, Remus," she pleaded, tears now freely falling. "But Dumbledore thought it best that I stay hidden. From everyone. You have to believe that I loved you. I trusted you with everything I had inside me. But I just couldn't tell you."

Noticing her tears he turned away from the window and walked over to her. She looked up through watery eyes at him and could see that beyond all the betrayal and disappointment lay compassion. She knew it was compassion she didn't deserve. He reached up and gently wiped away a tear, and she placed her hand on his, pinning it to her face. He exhaled deeply then spoke the words that would've meant everything to her, had it not been for the tense in which they were spoken.

"I would've loved you forever."

A/N: I hadn't really intended on ending here, but I just couldn't keep writing after this part. I know it's just a short, sad chapter. But please, stick with me. I PROMISE they will be together soon! They've suffered enough I think. Hope you liked it and let me know if you did..)

Mags


	7. Overheard

Despair washed over her as she watched him leave. She stood there a few minutes letting her tears fall freely down her face. Her throat was tight and her stomach felt empty and sunken. Everything he'd said had been true. She had been too hopeful in allowing herself to consider the possibility of him understanding. It had been idealistic, and now she was left to face the consequences. Before she had come, she had attempted to prepare herself for this exact situation in an attempt to somehow ease the pain, yet there was no amount of preparation to protect her from this feeling of hopeless heartbreak. Due to some animalistic sense, Buckbeak approached her and gently nudged her shoulder. Desperately in need of comfort, she turned around, burying her face in his soft, feathered neck and let out a few silenced sobs. Her mind lingered on thoughts of what they had once been and what she had hoped they once again could be and this made it near impossible to stop crying. She allowed herself to continue on like this, locked in a mental state of self pity for a few minutes longer, until she finally stopped herself and began to regain closure. Wiping away her tears she looked up at the Hippogriff and smiled through a pained face saying thanks. He tilted his head slightly in what Elle perceived as a nod and then turned to continue devouring his ferrets.

She left the room and quickly returned to hers hoping to be unseen. She knew that dinner was going to be full of tension and her showing up in the kitchen with obvious signs that she'd been crying would only intensify the awkwardness. As she was cleaning her face in the mirror, fighting off the urge to breakdown and cry again, her reflection stared back at her with a look of confusion. Had Remus been right? The way he had described it to her had been so truthful, and she had never really thought of it from that perspective. All the time she had been hiding she convinced herself it had been to protect him. But perhaps it had been to protect Snape. Had her feelings for him really surpassed those which she held for Remus? Severus meant a lot to her now. It was obvious that they had grown close during the time they had spent together, but she realized that despite the bond they now shared, she still wouldn't have exposed herself. One fact remained. Severus had saved her life. That alone was the main reason she did what she had to. She owed him her life and would not risk his simply to be happy.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a knock at her door. She braced herself knowing that it would most likely end up being another emotionally charged conversation but was relieved to see the warm smile of Molly Weasley on the other side of the door.

"Molly," she said, trying her hardest to convincingly smile warmly. The woman she gazed at had a way of making a person feel safe and loved simply by looking at them.

"Hope you don't mind, dear," she said, entering the room while closing the door behind her, "but I saw the look on Remus' face when he came down the stairs, and I thought I'd come up to check on you."

"That's very kind of you Molly, I appreciate it," Elle said genuinely, "but I'm fine. Really."

Molly gave her a look which implied that she wasn't convinced by Elle's response.

"With all due respect Eleanor," she said smiling, "you don't raise seven children without learning a thing or two about reading the signs of a face that is lying."

Looking into Molly's warm, concerned expression, Elle couldn't help but feel comforted by it. She had become so accustomed to internalizing all of her issues that she was caught a bit off guard by Molly's offer to talk.

"It's just difficult to see Remus so hurt while knowing that I'm the cause," she said finally. "I never thought that this is how we'd end up. I always played our reunion in my head and it seemed so different. But I supposed I was being too impractical. I can't expect him to feel the same way about me as he did when I left. It's just hard knowing he'll never look at me the same way again."

It felt good for her to say it out loud. She had been feeling it for the past few days, but now maybe she'd finally be able to accept it.

"I'm not sure how he looked at you before," Molly began, "but I've seen the look he gives you now, and let me tell you, it's unlike the way he looks upon any other."

Elle smiled unsure of what to say. She was oddly uncomfortable talking about Remus. She couldn't really explain why, but she could feel her face beginning to flush.

"Arthur and I squabble all of the time. Just this morning we got into a little row over how we were to pick up the children's school things, but by this afternoon all was forgotten. Whatever you two have quarreled about, you'll mend it," she said consolingly.

"Oh, I wish it were that simple Molly," Elle said smiling a little, attempting to make light of her situation.

"When it comes to love like that, I guess it never is," she replied. "But I've always found that when love is true, there is nothing that will stop it from ending happy."

Sensing the conversation nearing an end, Molly stood and made her way towards the door.

"Oh and Eleanor," she said, just as she reached the door, "there won't be a meeting tonight. Dumbledore has been held up. He sends his apologies. Dinner should be ready soon, dear."

"Thank you," she said smiling, even though her heart had just sunk.

She watched Molly leave and was once again left alone with her thoughts. It was difficult not to think of Remus. It was all she had done for the past decade. Planning their reunion, reliving their time together; it would take some time to accept the fact that she had to let go. All she wanted to do was run downstairs and talk to him, try to convince him to once again love her. But she knew it would be to no avail. If there had been any chance that he could love her again, he wouldn't have said what he had. Yet a part of her couldn't give up. Not that easily. He had said that he would've loved her forever, not that he couldn't love her again. She would have to fight for him. Although at the thought of this, her mind returned to his face when he had last spoken to her, and she was reminded that there was no sign of hope that he hadn't meant what he said.

Frustrated by her internal contradictions, she let out an exasperated sigh and flopped on her bed hopelessly. She had never really dealt with a situation like this before. Remus had been her only love, and the thought of learning to fall out of love with him didn't come easily to her. How was she supposed to just stop loving him? The situation didn't seem fair, and she again began to be blanketed my feelings of self pity. Feeling sorry for the way her life had turned out. Moods like this were dangerous since she often questioned whether or not she was grateful that Snape had saved her life that night. It hadn't turned out to be much of a life to be saved. Over the years she had rarely allowed herself to dwell on these thoughts and tonight was no exception. She sat up in her bed, walked over to the mirror, took a deep breath and walked down the stairs in search of a distraction.

She was discreet as she rounded the corner into the living room, scanning the faces for Remus'.

"He left," Sirius said from behind her, "once he heard Dumbledore wasn't coming."

Her heart sank. A minute ago she had been avoiding him, but knowing that he too was avoiding her was disheartening. She turned, faking a smile while crossing her arms and said, "Oh, I hadn't even noticed."

Siruis tilted his head looking at her with an unconvinced expression and a hint of a smile. Throwing her arms around her shoulders he said, "Come. Let's talk."

Though hesitant at first, she gave into her old friend and allowed him to offer his support. She followed him to a back room where they could be alone and from the moment they sat down she divulged every detail from the conversation she had just had with Remus, though she was vague when it came to the part about his recollection of her feelings toward Severus. Sirus listened attentively, commenting occasionally with words of support, but she assured him that, though she appreciated them, they held no truth. Once she had finished speaking, they sat in silence for a few moments until Sirius said, "but that doesn't seem like Remus." Elle knew at this point that she should've known better than to omit certain aspects of her story.

"Why would Remus think that you had an ulterior motive to staying in hiding?" Sirius asked.

Elle had feared this question, since now she had to explain Remus' reasoning for believing that she held Snape's well-being higher than his own. She worried that Sirius would also adopt this thinking and be hurt by it as well. Once she explained she could tell that he was discomforted by it and the conversation would no longer be centered around offering her comfort.

"I could see how he would think that Elle," Sirius said in a pained voice. "That theory never really occurred to me." He fell silent. Elle could hear the commotion in the other rooms of the house as they all made their way to the dining room.

He rose from his seat and walked over to the window. This was similar to what Remus had done, only just as quickly as he had reached the window, Sirus turned back around and approached her with conviction.

"How can you care about him," he began. "After all he has done. All he did. How can you just blindly trust him."

Elle rose defensively, "How can you not? He has redeemed himself time and time again. Does he not deserve our trust."

"No!" Sirius rapidly responded. Pacing the room he continued, "not after what he did. He deserves less than what he gets now. None of Voldemort's followers, let alone his Death Eaters deserve redemption."

As soon as he said that he quickly spun around with an apologetic look on his face. "You know that's not what I meant," he said instantly, before Elle had a chance to respond.

"No Sirus, it's exactly what you meant," she said meekly, sitting back down in her chair.

He rushed across the room and fell to his knees in front of her. Gently lifting her face to meet his gaze he said, "you were never like him. It was different with you."

"Was it?" Elle responded, "I was no different than him. You forgave me. Why can't you forgive him?"

"You were completely different then him," Sirius told her. "You were never a Death Eater. You never killed anyone in the name of Voldemort.

"Maybe not, but I didn't do anything to stop it," she said. Then, more quietly she added, "worse than that, I supported it."

"You were manipulated Elle," Sirius said consolingly, "and besides, you redeemed yourself. You came back to us." He smiled in an attempt to lighten the situation.

"I came back to you too late. Too late to save my family. Too late to save Nola. Too late to save Lily and Jam-," Sirius put her had over her mouth as he looked beyond her.

"Harry," he said, beginning to explain. Elle's body and heart sank. She rose and spun around in one quick movement.

"Harry I can explain-," she began. But he cut her off.

"I came to tell you dinner is being served," he said, his voice filled with contempt as he turned and left.

Siruis and Elle exchanged disheartened looks.

"How much do you think he heard?" Sirius asked.

"Enough to condemn me." Elle said solemnly. At the very least, she would have a new issue to consume her thoughts.

Let me know what you think. Don't worry. Elle's involvement with Voldemort and his followers will be thoroughly explained to Harry. We'll see if Harry, as well as you all, can forgive her! ; )


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